If The Feelings Are Mutual The Effort Will Be Equally Mutual 

You know that guy the one you want to date, the one who is sending mixed signals?  He’s all over you one second, or totally ignoring you the next, isn’t putting labels on your relationship & keeps making excuses just to keep you around?

Yep that dude… he is simply not that into you! 🤦🏽‍♀️

Ok, maybe he kinda does like you a little bit. He probably thinks you’re hot and entertaining to some degree, so he wants to keep you around for those times when the chick he really wanted decides she doesn’t want him. I mean who will he call to smash if he allows you to run off and find a real boyfriend?

 
⚠️ ATTENTION, LADIES: THIS TYPE OF GUY IS A F*CKBOY. A DOUCHEBAG🙍🏽‍♂️

Guys are never playing hard-to-get or being aloof to get you interested. He isn’t ghosting you because he’s coy; he’s ghosting you because he doesn’t want to deal with telling you he’s just not that into you. 

I know, I know… This sucks to acknowledge. It blows. I know that. I too have foolishly been there done that. There have been plenty of times in my sordid past when I have convinced myself that a guy is going to come around, & stop treating me like second-class garbage and be real with me. But, that guy never did. 


Please understand this if you don’t remember anything else you’ve read thus far and will read going forward.  Everything is black and white when it comes to men. They really are the most uncomplicated  species God created. If he’s into you, he will show you. If he wants to make it happen, he will make it happen.

It pains me to write this, but if I don’t, who will? 

This is my social media responsibility here ladies #girlpower 💯👩🏽‍💻

Guys have two modes: looking for a girlfriend or not looking for a girlfriend. Looking for a fallback chick not looking for one. They are either all over you, calling you, asking you out and wanting to be with you 100 percent or they don’t. — There are no gray areas with men.
Yes. You read that right. There are NO MIND GAMES WITH MEN.

Those “games” you think he’s playing? Is you trying to make excuses for what you refuse to accept. 

Those confusing signals are actually the CLEAREST signals of them all: he’s not that into you. He doesn’t care. He doesn’t. He simply does not.

Move on… You want to date your best friend. You want to date a guy who makes you laugh, who you can do silly, ridiculous gross sh*t with and never be self-conscious or insecure.

Wanting more for yourself is the only way to GET more for yourself. So don’t settle for something so beneath you. No matter how much you want him to be that guy.


Be with someone who doesn’t make you feel like you’re unworthy, neglected or pathetic. There are guys out there who will treat you like the queen 👸 you are. 

💕One Love 👫

When The Unexpected Happens

I’m going through an experience I pray no one EVER has to go through. It is tough, very very tough. It is incredibly life altering, it literally shook me up inside out.

Life has a way of shifting us from one path to another without any warnings. This is one of those life altering, experiences I simply couldn’t believe. Initially I refuse to accept it to the point of telling the Doctors to literally shut up!

During the drive home I cried thinking ME, little old ME? I didn’t know where to go from there. I was so lost, confused, hurt, and shocked.

I didn’t know how to verbalize it in the beginning. And then I went through the whole pity party asking God Why ME? How ME? Who ME? 

People say “Everything happens for a reason”. We’ve all said it. Such a cliche’ yet somehow so true. Whether we like it in the moment or not, when life takes us to the worst possible places is truly surprising.

I mean, when you’re at the lowest of lows there’s only one way to go from there but UP. I was moving so fast and doing so much in life without really thinking about whether it was right for me or not. This life altering experience of mine has  made me focus on things that I should’ve been focusing on to begin with. It has halted my stride in the wrong direction and put me on the right path. It is at a high cost but you know what, in the end, it has lead me to the right direction for my life and I can only hope this will work out for my good in the end.

Let my story encourage each and every one of you, I pray this will give someone hope knowing this too shall pass. Sometimes we have to go through the worst of times to truly enjoy and appreciate the best of times.

 

One Love 💞💖

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“Rejection Can Be A Blessing”

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I’ll be the first to admit rejection sucks on so many levels however, in hindsight rejection can be a blessing, it allows you to close the door and move on to the next opportunity.

It allows you to walk away from the person who doesn’t share the same goals, commitment and enthusiasm to be your partner. Learning this allows you the freedom to find the person God intended for you.

Rejection may be a sign of God’s will. His plans are better than you can ever imagine for your life.

Rejection doesn’t mean you aren’t good enough; it means the other person failed to notice what you have to offer.

Until I had an epiphany rejection left me feeling worthless but I know longer feel that way when rejection is thrown my way.  

I’ve been through enough of getting on that rollacoster ride full of negative emotions; it’s almost expected at times.

Thank God he has truly worked through me to change my perspective about rejection. I know those who have rejected me never loved me and I’m grateful I dodged those bullets.

If you are rejected, allow yourself  a limited time to grieve. Then press on. Life is too short to sit around feeling defeated when your actually being saved from what was meant to hurt you.  Keep moving forward. The best is yet to come 😊.

 

 

One love 💖

 

Big Life Decisions

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There is so much that is happening to me very quickly and sometimes all I can do is look up thinking “something has got to give Jesus” while I try to make sense of all the “whys”. 

Crying is my normal way to release but now the tears don’t help. I don’t talk about everything to anyone, their is a lot I keep to myself  because talking won’t change my outcome. I’m doing my very best to make peace with all of this because death is inevitable; it’s just the timing part of it that truly sucks.

At this point I just want peace… Peace and respect go hand in hand. It is required and most people might not understand all of my decisions; trust me when your life is turned upside down because your health is compromised you stop being the “people pleaser”

Most of my adult life I allowed people to emotionally walk all over me because I hated people being mad at me so I would do what I could to please them. If I can’t have good health I will make damn sure I have peace especially in my home.
The uncertainties in this life can be difficult to cope with at times but I refuse to quit. I will not just lay down and be defeated by this awful thing called cancer!

Some of your decisions will not be easy to make or accepted by others but it is required. Don’t be like me and wait until sickness or tragedy stops at your doorstep to require  peace and respect. Those who don’t have the common sense God freely gave them to understand why can kick rocks and go play in traffic.

One Love ❤

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HAVE YOU CHOSEN SOMEONE WHO ISN’T CHOOSING YOU?

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Have you ever been in so much pain because you continue choosing someone that is not choosing you back.  You’re ready to dive in wholeheartedly yet that person remains elusive.  The more you try to win this person over or convince yourself it’s “okay” with their non-committal vibe the more painful it becomes. I have so much compassion for people who are going down this awful path because I’ve been there – I think we have ALL have been there.

Liking someone and not feeling liked back. Contorting yourself into who you think they want you to be. Hoping, praying and wishing that person would just see how amazing you would be together, wanting that person to be available, willing and ready to commit is a dead-end street. Not being “chosen” feels awful!

We know we deserve better, yet another part of us is in love with the “IDEA” of winning this guy/woman over and the fantasy of what it could be is a glimmer of light at the end of the dark relationship tunnel.

Granted, at the beginning of any relationship there is some wooing that goes on. When we first start dating someone, it’s natural to put a little more effort in so the other person knows that you like him/her.  But there is a line between wooing someone because you are mutually interested in each other or try to convince someone to be in a relationship with you.

Have you crossed that fine line? Here’s how you know: when someone is clear – either in their words or behavior – they are not looking for a commitment do you hear that information and know it’s your time to opt out because what you want doesn’t align with what you deserve, or do you fall in love with a fantasy? If someone continues to be slippery and is not into you, do you walk away or start to think of ways that you could possibly convince this person to pick you?

If you choose the latter, then you are entering into a future of senseless suffering.  You will ignore your top values and instead listen to the voice of your ego, which says, “I want what I want and I’m going after it.” You then start thinking of ways to manipulate, convince and strategize your actions at the same time, feeling rejected and obsessive.

As much as you say you want someone to be in a loving, intimate and committed relationship, part of you may not think it’s possible.  Maybe you’ve been hurt in the past and unconsciously you’re putting effort into a relationship that will never become magnanimous or perhaps you have some limiting beliefs about your worthiness, which are fueling your pattern of chasing after crumbs.

If this resonates with you, this is your wake up call! I strongly recommend you invest that energy into yourself.  Heal your wounds and update your beliefs. Create a healthy relationship with YOURSELF.

We should all want the experience of choosing AND being chosen?

My encouragement to you is to be ruthlessly honest with yourself about whether or not you are dating or chasing. You are worthy of a loving relationship. You deserve to have a peace of mind in your relationship and be with someone who shares your values. You have a huge heart with so much love to give and if someone isn’t “choosing” you, why do you keep choosing him/her? <– rhetorical question only you can answer.

Take back your power… Choose wisely… Trust that you have a lot of options when it comes to relationships. Always remember the one relationship you MUST honor first is the one with yourself. If you want to attract a wonderful, loving partner who treats you the way you should be treated, it can only happen when you love yourself and treat yourself with respect, kindness and love. Choose you today. Stop running after someone who doesn't see you in their future.

One Love ❤

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🎇You Live & Hopefully Your Learning🎆

👫We can’t date a jerk and expect to turn them into a good person. Jerks are fully committed to being 😭unpleasant. Those brief moments of tenderness they give you are designed to trip you up and give you false hope. It’s best to stay away altogether.

You’ll always care about your first love💑That doesn’t make you crazy, it just makes you human. When relationships end, it’s not so cut and dry. You carry everyone you’ve ever loved into every relationship thereafter. Use those past experiences for your good.

😤You’ll treat someone terribly. Whether it be a lover or your friend, there’ll be someone whose feelings you take for granted. We focus too much on whether or not someone is hurting us. The reality is we might actually be the one who’s hurting someone.

💆You’ll question every decision you make and never feel completely certain that you made the right choice. It’s pointless to wonder about all the what if’s. You might as well make the right decision you can live with.

👵👴You’ll see your parents get older. You’ll come home during Christmas break and see new lines developing on their faces. One day it’ll just hit you that your parents are old and going to die. There’s nothing you can do about it, besides treat them with kindness and visit as much as your budget permits.

You’ll know how to make twenty💰dollars last an entire week because you spent almost all of your paycheck on groceries🍗🌽🍄🍊at Whole Foods and drunk🚕cab rides. This lesson in frugality will serve you well.

💕Loving yourself is hard. Hating yourself is harder.

You’re going to have people in your life who are toxic 🚷They may say they love you, they may say they have your back, but they don’t. Get rid of them immediately!💯

💁Doing “grown-up things” doesn’t make you a grown up. Shopping for housewares, buying a plant, embracing domesticity — these things don’t create maturity. If you’re still behaving as a child who hasn’t figured things out, you’ll remain immature, no matter how many times you pay your rent on time.

😱Don’t force yourself into loving anyone. If it’s not working in the beginning, it’s probably not going to work ever.

🙏You are so blessed to have everything that you need at this very moment. Stop waiting and crying about an unreturned call or text message and get some perspective. Everyone you meet will not have the same heart as you💓.

One♥Love