Respect the Ex-Friend Code!
If a guy says he’ll do anything for you and then calls late at night and begs you to come over claiming to be too tired to make the drive over to your place then he has a very loose definition of “anything“.
If he says he really cares about you and misses you but then goes days or weeks without calling or making time to see you because he is swamped at work or some excuse along those lines what he’s really saying is you’re not important enough to make time for.
I had to learn & in some areas of my dating life I’m still learning how to decipher between if a man actually cares for me or am I just something he’s doing for now because he’s bored. Which takes me back to his actions that will speak for his motive. I would recommend focusing more on what he does and less on what he says.
Just make sure that you have a strong sense of self and a life outside of any relationship.
Women we can’t solely rely on him to be the sole center of our universe because the moment he feels that kind of pressure 🏃🏽he’ll run!
Let go of fears, anxieties and worries. Let go of people who don’t keep their word. Let go of people who make you feel insecure.
Let go of people who can’t fit you in their busy schedule, saying there is no time. Let go of all the bad experiences you’ve had. They don’t deserve to hold you back!
Let go of the people who keep disappointing you. Second chances are not very likely to ever work out which is why I don’t give them out anymore.
Just let all of that go because it’s all standing between you and true happiness.
💝One Love 💝
You deserve to live in reality, not in a fantasy. You deserve to be appreciated, to feel validated in your relationship. You deserve his word, his consistency, and his honesty.
You deserve to be spoiled, not just in material things, but with the gift of his time in order to make love lasting memories.
You deserve a love that is real, genuine, passionate, and proud.
One night stands have replaced dating; tinder and e Harmony profiles have replaced meaningful interaction. Social media has made every interaction superficial and vague.
When I was in a long-term relationship many moons ago I listened to all my friends bitch and moan about being single and now that I’m single myself, I finally understand exactly what they were complaining about. Our generation thinks it’s cool NOT to care.
I really would like to know when the memo was sent out that it’s ok not to care! Expressing any signs of emotion is considered clingy and gives the impression you’re thirsty.
Don’t text him first because you’ll seem like you’re too needy. God forbid if you ask him out two nights in a row you’ll seem too desperate. Never expect an explanation from a guy you’re just hanging out with because everything is just casual nowadays.
Make sure to always proofread every word of that text message you send to him or her and choose your words wisely to make sure you seem interested, but not too interested, being “too interested” in somebody is a bad thing.
If you’re “just dating” you can just straddle the fence and hope that one of you grab each other’s hand & take that leap of faith together.
If you’re “talking to someone” that absolutely does not mean that you are in a relationship. It means one of you are too insecure to make it “official” you don’t want to be tied down to just one person because that would require too much work to maintain a healthy and happy monogamous relationship.
You’ll be stuck wondering what you did wrong and every little detail will be analyzed. Did I talk to much? Was I boring? Or did they change their mind?
If we’re upset with someone instead of picking up a phone and calling them we ignore them & the problem hoping it fades away.
We can’t say how we feel anymore because we’re afraid of rejection. We’re afraid to scare away a person we’re interested in by showing any real feelings for them. Instead, we act as if we don’t care and unfortunately the other person will do the same.
It’s a vicious cycle in our generation and it just seems like there’s no end. This type of passive aggressive behavior will have you forever “just dating” or “just hanging out” that never leads to anything long-term.
If you know better do better!
I think there is nothing more terrible in this world than waiting.
It creates expectations; it builds up fantasies; it puts you on pause. While consciously choosing to wait you pretty much stop yourself from doing anything else. What if they call? What if they show up? What if they change their mind & you hurried up and moved on and now that chance is gone! How are you supposed to live with that?
There is a reason why one of the very first things we learn as social beings is saying “hello” and “goodbye”. We are rational creatures. We understand and work best when there is a timeline, when we know that we start at A and arrive at B. It gives us a false illusion of stability.
When we enter someone’s life we open up something. A story starts being written. We say hi. Wouldn’t it be nice to also acknowledge them when we leave? We are good with openings. But when it comes to closure, not so easy for some people.
When someone exists your life and doesnt say goodbye you are left waiting, regardless if you are logical enough to accept they are gone. There is always a “what if”. Always a question unanswered. Most of the time you just want to know if it’s over. Are they coming back? Can I move on? You all know you don’t need anyone’s permission to move on and you shouldn’t wait for it, but you do it regardless.
Although you know you are in charge of your own actions, you are also aware those actions have consequences outside of your control that sooner or later you’ll have to deal with. We all need that goodbye.
When we are on the other side, we forget the neurotic stage of waiting and exiting the stage without so much as a bow. We don’t want to deal with it. We are over it. We want something or someone else, but we sure need to give answers to the other person that’s been waiting to hear from you. Be a mature adult and say goodbye.
Remember there were two people playing the game. You said hello. You were there for the laughs. You were there maybe for some cries too. Don’t let them think that”hello” wasn’t real. And worst of all, don’t let them think just because no one said it, it’s not over now.
It’s cruel and no matter how many eye-rolls you might stage when you see another missed call from them, or wonder out loud in front of your friends why aren’t they getting the message, the pathetic one of the two is you! It doesn’t matter what they did to make you want to leave. Those are their demons to deal with. It doesn’t matter if they changed, they cheated, they lied or took you for granted.
Always remember at some point in your life that person you laugh at right now was once someone of value to you. You spent time and energy and maybe even a few heartfelt moments with them; trying to make them seem small and insignificant doesn’t say anything about them but quite a lot about you. Trust me it will haunt you. At some point in your life you will wonder and call, and text. You will be the one left hanging and waiting.
Reply to their text. Call back… Say yes… Say No… using silence to send a message does one thing and one thing only: it hurts people. If that’s your purpose, if you want to hurt them, to make them wait maybe you should face the mirror and ask yourself why are you playing with a “goodbye” you don’thave the balls to deliver.
Knowingly acting that way guarantees you will constantly be in that person’s thoughts which means you either want them but feel it necessary to test/play with them first or you’re a downright asshole! Neither is a good look for you.
If you are ignoring them because you are stressed, bored, have moved on, don’t feel it or simply don’t have time for them in your life right now, do them and yourself a service and tell them. It’s not easy. It sure isn’t fun. You get to be the bad guy. You get to hear the screams and cries. Maybe, you even get lucky and hear some very on point insults. Letting people down is not easy. It’s not easy for them and it’s not easy for the ones doing it.
Say goodbye now so you can say hello without remorse later. And they can say hello without fear later.
❤️One Love❤️ enjoy the rest of your Sunday🙋🏽
When you see the person who did you wrong, don’t pretend to be all nicey-nice. Be real… Say hello and speak kindly when spoken to but for heavensake bypass the phony hugs and enthusiastic greetings. Be honest… You feel what you feel, and being a fraud with gratuitous niceness will not make your hurt and anger any easier to bear — in fact, it could have the opposite effect.
Sometimes relationships feel bad. That’s just the way it is. There might be some awkwardness, but just try your best to have an open mind. Who knows? This brutally honest encounter just might eventually pave the way to peace between you and that person. Trying to see things from the other person’s perspective can help you reach a place of understanding. Why do you think he or she behaved that way?
That person is not all bad, and you are certainly not all good. People exist in lots of gray areas. Remind yourself of this. Own up to your part in the drama while you’re at it. While there are exceptions to every rule, you probably also played a part in whatever went down, think about times that you’ve hurt other people, then reflect on those who have forgiven you. Are you ready to do the same?
When it comes to a grudge, you can carry it or bury it — and burying it; as in, putting it in the past and not stuffing it under the rug actually has health benefits. Forgiveness can lead to greater spiritual and psychological well-being; less anxiety, stress and hostility; lower blood pressure and fewer symptoms of depression.
Letting go of the bitterness and resentment can make way for kindness, compassion and inner peace. It will also remove any power this person continues to have over your thoughts and emotions. Adults need to have the capacity to see the world as a complicated place, where loving, kind people sometimes act hurtful or less than ideal.
Being able to understand the people we care about are complicated and messy – as we all can be is a crucial life skill that allows you to move through life in a more comfortable way.
If you truly love each other stop pointing fingers and do the work required to mend the hurt and make your relationship full of love and trust again. Anything is possible with Jesus 🙏🏽let him guide you and direct your path to healing and forgiveness.