There is so much that is happening to me very quickly and sometimes all I can do is look up thinking “something has got to give Jesus” while I try to make sense of all the “whys”.
Crying is my normal way to release but now the tears don’t help. I don’t talk about everything to anyone, their is a lot I keep to myself because talking won’t change my outcome. I’m doing my very best to make peace with all of this because death is inevitable; it’s just the timing part of it that truly sucks.
At this point I just want peace… Peace and respect go hand in hand. It is required and most people might not understand all of my decisions; trust me when your life is turned upside down because your health is compromised you stop being the “people pleaser”
Most of my adult life I allowed people to emotionally walk all over me because I hated people being mad at me so I would do what I could to please them. If I can’t have good health I will make damn sure I have peace especially in my home.
The uncertainties in this life can be difficult to cope with at times but I refuse to quit. I will not just lay down and be defeated by this awful thing called cancer!
Some of your decisions will not be easy to make or accepted by others but it is required. Don’t be like me and wait until sickness or tragedy stops at your doorstep to require peace and respect. Those who don’t have the common sense God freely gave them to understand why can kick rocks and go play in traffic.
One Love ❤