There’s no guaranteed way to know if you’re dealing with someone who’s wearing their heart on their sleeve, or has an ace up it. When you make it evident what you want, pretenders can (and will) create a dishonest persona they know you’d desire until they’ve gotten what they want out of the relationship, then they’ll either show you their true colors or refuse to do better, leaving you alone to figure out what you did wrong.
Being open and honest about your feelings is the quickest way to be labeled one of the three Cs: clingy, creepy and/or crazy. If you don’t filter yourself when discussing your level of interest in someone, you could get a response reciprocating those sentiments, OR you can get a reputation as someone who belongs in the loony bin for folks who catch too many feelings too quickly.
Wearing your heart on your sleeve simply makes you more vulnerable to the world’s scumbags. There are some legitimate emotional terrorists out here who get an odd satisfaction out of emotionally hurting people – specifically those who are clearly open about their feelings. It’s as if they were bored when you walked by, so they were like, “Oh look, a heart on a sleeve.” Then they gently approached you appearing to be sincere and once your in their hands as if the word ‘FRAGILE’ were plastered across your forehead they proceeded to stomp on it. Like a thorough, malicious hippity-hoppity stomp session all over your heart. Why? More or less, because they could.
Romance with reckless abandonment puts you at risk for all of the hurtful experiences mentioned above and those traumatizing incidents turn you into a heavily guarded, emotionally impenetrable person. It’s like the naïve child who thinks swimming looks doable, so they jump in the deep end of the pool and almost drown. Then they spend months, or even years hesitant to go anywhere near a pool.
It’s sad to admit but we’re in “the hookup get it and quit it era” there’s a shift in what people value most — and it isn’t just physical. The saying “Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?” suggests if you give a person sex without commitment they’ll be satisfied with just that and won’t feel obligated to commit to you. The milk in this metaphor is a person’s heart — their emotions, their affection, their time, their effort – these are the things people want and will happily take it because it’s better than feeling miserable and alone. They’ll take all of that without buying the cow ~ the cow in this metaphor is a clear cut monogamous relationship. If they know they can get your loyalty without undoubtedly, giving theirs, they’ll do it each and every time. Again, you have to know your worth because “free” is usually what people suck dry. I highly recommend putting a label and an expensive price tag on your heart, body, mind, and soul.