Because people have made promises in the past and they’ve broken them. She’s had too many people leave her – both intentionally and unintentionally and she doesn’t want to give you the chance to leave too. There are a million reasons she might not be able to believe that you love her when your words and actions contradict each other. She doesn’t believe you love her because her loyalty has been taken for granted more times than she can count.
Their have been moments when she didn’t know how she was going to move forward. Moments when she didn’t think she could get out of bed, and worse moments when she did get out of bed and she felt like an empty shell while she was walking around. At some point, she was so lost and so torn up that she wasn’t even sure if any of what you said was ever real.
Sometimes she can’t believe that you love her, because that would just be too good, and good is not what she’s used to. She doesn’t want to love you and then lose you.
She’s scared, because having someone and then suddenly not having them is a lot scarier than being alone. She is extremely secure with herself, however the past has caused so many relationship insecurities.
She’s seen some beautiful love unfold for others but she has a hard time remembering that kind of love for herself.
She’s seen her friends get hurt, and she’s seen her friends hurt other people. She knows that breaking someone’s heart doesn’t always mean you’re a jerk or a heartless monster.
Either way, they have to be honest with themselves, and they have to be honest with the other person.
Maybe she’s afraid to love you because she’s been the person that’s broken someone else’s heart. Being hurt doesn’t always have to mean you were on the receiving end.
You can hurt yourself by hurting someone else, to the point when you can’t even breathe and you hate waking up in your own body knowing what you did and how you made someone else feel.
Maybe she loved someone but knew they weren’t the right person for her, so she had to leave them. Now she’s worried that you’re going to do the same thing to her, even though you are kindhearted and you have the purest intentions, you still might have to walk away.
She knows there are so many reasons why this might not work, so instead of paying attention to the one reason why it will, she just focuses on all the reasons it won’t. It’s called self-preservation, and it’s all she knows.
She listens to love songs and she lets them pass through her ears and she meditates on them a lot because she wants it to be her reality. Who knows, maybe she does want to believe that you just might be the one who can love her forever.
Somewhere inside of her, once you get past all of the defense mechanisms, she is soft and she feels things and she believes that you love her. But this is also the part of her that is the most vulnerable.
She knows that if she’s going to let herself feel what you’re telling her and if she’s going to believe that you love her, she’s going to have to expose her soft side, her vulnerable side – the side she works the hardest to keep safe.
She wants to trust you. She wants to believe that you’re different. She wants to give you the chance to break her into a million pieces. But you’ve got to meet her halfway. You’ve got to let her know that you’re scared too. You’ve got to remind her that you’re just as much at risk, because she can break you into a million pieces too. If she can’t believe that you love her, tell her anyway.
Every day. Show her. Make her understand that you’re not going anywhere. At the end of the day, if you truly want her to believe you love her, it’s up to you to do what’s required to ensure her she can fully trust loving you!