Sometimes it’s hard to be loved when our actions don’t align with our words, or when our words bite a little harder than we intended them to. Tough love is tough, and sometimes it doesn’t come off as being very loving.
Occasionally, the love that we need is not the love that we are given, so we withdraw and look for it somewhere else. Withdrawal from a friend can be seen as a cold harsh distance. Especially when the distance is unexplained and unexpected. The fact is, from time to time, we’re all a little hard to love or even like.
We all make mistakes, and we all have a hard time admitting it sometimes. Many of us, through no fault of our own, need help to see where we may have pushed a little too hard, while others are careful not to make the same mistakes, or never push hard enough. We encourage communication but become offended when someone chooses their words so carelessly that they provide no comfort or closure. Those who are offended by very little often do nothing to understand why our words may have caused defensive sensitivity. Those who become defensive do nothing to communicate their reasoning. We want what’s best for each other while we struggle to obtain the best for ourselves. What happens when the two don’t fit together? What happens when what’s best for you is to find selfishness in solitude, while leaving someone else struggling with persistent feelings of loneliness or inadequacy? Friendships are difficult especially when we are hard to love.
Here’s the key, the secret that we all forget until it’s too late and our bitterness creates walls that we never intended to build — Find something in everyone that makes it impossible not to appreciate them, and you will never go without a reason to love or like them, even on their darkest days, or your very own darkest days.
Loving someone where they are means loving them in their moments of distance, weakness, selfishness, or solitude. It’s finding the silver lining in their flaws and their feelings of negativity or inadequacy. It means working to help them overcome the challenges they’re facing, even if it requires selflessly ignoring your own.
My true friends have taught me how to love myself by constantly and consistently loving me where I’m at. For that, I am truly blessed and will forever appreciate them to the fullest.