A friend once said to me that she didn’t understand why people break up, since our significant others are supposed to be our best friends and you wouldn’t just stop being friends with your best friend. This was at least 5 years ago, yet it’s stuck with me. Maybe we do stop being friends with our best friends, and maybe it’s okay.
How many times have you or someone you know split up with a boyfriend or girlfriend because you simply drifted apart? It happens. Inevitably, people change; It’s no one’s fault, and it isn’t something we can control; it’s a natural process of growing up.
And no matter how much we don’t want to admit it, the same thing can happen with friends. I think of the person I was 5 years ago as a single mom, juggling work while supporting my kids at there extracurricular activities and attempting to give my love life a chance to flourish. I am astonished at how different I am today. My priorities, dreams, activities, and even looks have changed dramatically. It only makes sense that the people I surround myself with have changed, too. The past 5 years have been such a formative time in my life and I’ve begun to see the person I’d like to become in my future. I’ve also seen the people who I used to be close with fade away with distance, some because I loss contact with them and some because of them not reaching out to me anymore.
I’m not fighting to bring those people back into the forefront of my life, and I am completely okay with the fact that we’ve drifted apart. I don’t see the point of trying to rekindle something that has already died. I know that if I met some of my high school friends today, we wouldn’t be friends. We’re barely similar anymore.
People today seem to be obsessed with the idea of growing old with certain people but that doesn’t happen for most people, and it’s okay that it doesn’t. Sure, it would be lovely to remain as close with your first best friends or your first love throughout your whole life, but the odds of that happening are pretty slim to none. I’ll be happy with a Christmas card every year from those people with a quick update on their lives and families.
It’s not wrong to stop caring about what’s going on in certain people’s lives; it’s natural. And just like a break-up, it will be easier for one person to accept than the other initially. It’s not fair to yourself or the other person to keep pretending and forcing friendships with someone who you haven’t shared an recent intimate best friend or romantic moments with in years. The spark of any friendship can fade just like a monogamous relationship spark can fade away & your peace of mind is beneath the silver lining of “letting go”.
One Love ❤️