Anyone who has spent enough time in this world knows that it’s not always smooth sailing. Life has its own way of knocking you down when you least expect it. And even for the most assembled person, it’s difficult to retain full confidence and self-love at all times.
So what happens when you’re in the midst of your darkest days and a man/woman suddenly appears in your reality? Can the one person you’ve been looking for really make that pivotal impact you’ve been awaiting, even if your attention is consumed by something else? The answer is yes.
The truth is, there is never a perfect or ideal time to initiate a relationship. Of course, the stability of one relies on the proper balance of both parties mental and emotional mindset.
You don’t need perfect conditions; what you do need is to be familiar with how to handle each situation together. This is where the false accusation of timing comes into the picture. Many say that if they are undergoing distressing circumstances in their lives, they cannot commit to someone else. And for the most part it makes perfect sense. You should never put someone else’s happiness above your own, and as mama always say, you have to make sure your room is clean before you can go play in someone else’s.
The mistake people make when they acknowledge the “bad timing” is oversimplifying the meaning of a relationship. Having a partner to share your experiences with isn’t a job and should never be a daunting task. It isn’t about calling and checking in every night or kissing your girlfriend’s ass so that she would trust you. Nor is it about frequent dinner dates and excuses to spend your money.
Those things can and, under the right circumstances, should be done, but those alone doesn’t define the relationship. A relationship should, above all things, be two people sharing their lives as partners, experiencing it as friends and enjoying it as lovers. If they care for you and you are, in fact, right for each other, the relationship mumbo jumbo can be put on hold. They will understand your inability to commit at that specific point, but they will still be there for you.
The timing in this situation is bad in the sense that you’re not completely content with yourself at that given moment. That doesn’t mean the timing has to put a strain on your relationship. If your partner cares for you and your wellbeing, they’ll give you the time and space you need to recover- unless, of course, you make the mistake of pushing them away. In which case, it wasn’t timing that did you wrong, but instead the way you handled your distressing circumstances and the current situation.
At this time you have to be 100% honest with yourself. If you have lingering doubts about someone that were brought to light through no other outside cause, it’s probably not meant to be. If anything would make you hesitate as such, it’s doubt. When the right person comes into your life, you’re supposed to just know. Which leads us to the next mistake people make. What if you just don’t know?
There is one and only one instance where timing qualifies as a legitimate excuse. Stress in your life and doubts are separate factors that corrupt your relationships, but they do not hide under the signature of time. When the timing really is the reason you couldn’t be with the person you care for, it hits you a few years down the road when you think “Why did I let her go? Why was I so stupid?”
So next time you deem timing or your busy schedule as the culprit for your failed or lack of relationships, consider the other factors first. Most of the time it’s not the timing that’s to blame, it’s just you. Consider them if you’re on the other side of the fence as well.
If your girlfriend or boyfriend left you because they said the timing was wrong or they are too busy it could very well mean that either you were not right for them or they simply didn’t know how to deal with matters in their own lives, and consequently didn’t know how to deal with you.
Closing thought: When dealing with potential or existing relationships, there are many things that will be working against you. If you can isolate the root cause I can assure you timing, & being too busy is most likely NOT one of them.