It is such a difficult place to be when you are trying to get out of an abusive relationship. I know because I wasted 5 years of my life stuck in a verbal & physical abusive relationship, but thankfully God made a way of escape for me. It may have taken you years or just a few days, to finally realize you need to leave & never look back. A day
may come very soon when you might walk out the door one day and never return. Or it may take planning a lengthy process that allows you to completely remove yourself and everything that is yours, out of the house you share with your abusive partner. However you do it, just make sure you leave. Remember you don’t deserve this. It is my goal to offer you some useful information here.
1. THINK CAREFULLY
This is not the time to allow your emotions to cloud your better judgement. More than likely you have had more than enough time to do that. This is the time to be logical in your thinking. You need to be very careful in each step you make. Your safety & possibly your life depends on it.
2. GAIN SUPPORT
Reach out for whatever support that you can. If you have family willing to support you, cling to that for all it’s worth. I suggest looking into all of your legal options. Usually, it takes a combination of both to give you the protection and support that you need in this difficult time. Look for other resources as well, such as Safe Harbor and other women’s shelters, if need be.
3. SET MONEY ASIDE
If you can and as you can, set some “get away money” aside for when you do leave. It is best to not put aside too much at a time because you do not want it to be noticeable if you share bank accounts with your abusive partner. Also, be sure to hide it somewhere where it will not be found. A better plan is to open a separate bank account with online e-statements. If that is the option that you choose & it is very important to have all correspondence on that account go to a PO box.
4. HAVE A PLAN
You need to have a strategic plan in motion. Where will you go and how will you get there when you leave is going to be completely unique to your situation. You may only want to go to your parents’ or best friend’s home. You may be traveling across the country. The depth of planning you need to do is again, unique to your situation but having a plan is super important.
5. BE READY AT ANY TIME
It is important to be as ready as you can be at any given time. When I was in an abusive relationship, I kept my purse and keys near the front door in case I needed to leave right away. Think smart here, ladies. If you can, have the essentials you need ready.
6. BEGIN MOVING THINGS OUT
If you can, start moving a few things out before you actually make your final exit do it! Some women can do this and some women cannot. But if you do, that would be very wise so that you are sure to have what you consider valuable.
7. KEEP THE VEHICLE PREPPED AND READY
You do not want to leave an abusive relationship when your gas tank is sitting on empty or your tires are low on air. I realize that a lot of women, are not overly mechanical. But you certainly can keep your car gas tank filled up and the tires filled with air. Once you leave, you do not want to have to stop anywhere close to where you just left.
Oh how I wish I could talk with each of my readers on a more personal basis that are currently in an abusive relationship. If you are in North America, you can call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 or 1-800-787-3224 (TTY).
Make 2014 your year to take back every single thing you allowed the enemy to steal, rob, and destroy in your life! Make 2014 your year to do whatever is required to live a peaceful, happy, safe, productive life. One Love…