I find that one of the best things I can remind myself of in any moment that really softens everything and makes it all more useful is :: This is the best thing that could be happening right now. All of this is for a reason.
Either consciously or subconsciously, we can get hung up on analyzing what is wrong about right now. We can wonder about what we should not have done, how we screwed up, or how others did. We feel as if we are doomed and we prepare for it to soften the blow.
What if all this was just right, instead? Useful? Valuable? Workable? Lovable? What if this moment was the doorway into what you want right now instead of the inevitable crushing blow of permanent failure? Even if it looks really gross, or painful, or not at all what you thought you wanted? Decide it. Say to yourself right now, just for kicks, ‘This is for me, I can use this. This is the best thing that could be happening.’
When you decide that, it changes everything. Steps show up in front of you where there were walls before. You take pathways you never would have dreamed of. Decide that this, even THIS, is for you. Respond accordingly, see what happens.